Using Compassion Instead of Fear

Sometimes I'm a little afraid to blog about stuff like this, because I don't know how experienced music teachers will respond to it. Please understand, always, that in my blogs I'm not trying to bash anyone for a particular method they use. However, I am trying to explore the true effectiveness of various methods. As Peter Boonshaft would say, the past is merely data to be learned from. If I disagree with a method you use, that doesn't mean I hold it against you, and I hope you won't hold my disagreement against me on a personal level! I just thought I might need to throw that disclaimer out there. After all, I'm still in college and have very little experience, and certainly none in the day to day grind of teaching music. However, I am very interested in what methods are not only effective for achieving the end result, but also awaken the possibilities for music making in the individual student, and in the band as a whole. For example, you could teach a student to play something by rote, and get a Division I, but I think it fails to awaken the true musical possibilities that lie within the student! Anyway, onto the blog...

A couple of nights ago, Jenn and I watched Freedom Writers. The movie is based on a true story, which most educators are probably familiar with. A first year, idealistic English teacher takes a job at a school that has recently integrated a slew of low income students of various race. In two years (by the time the teacher starts) it has gone from being a top school to a war zone. The first year teacher initially thinks it’s exciting what the school is trying to accomplish, but quickly realizes the frustration of trying to reach students who seem uninterested in learning, and more interested in surviving the real world each day. Meanwhile, she can’t get any support from her administrators or fellow teachers, because they feel burned after their own battles to get the students to learn, and many blame the students for the school’s downfall. Books sit unused because those in charge are unwilling to give them to the students, since experience shows they will just destroy the books anyway.

Over time the teacher seeks to understand the daily lives of her students, and changes her initial curriculum and activities so that it can be more relevant to them. She picks up two part time jobs to buy supplies (like books and composition notebooks) for her class. They slowly open up to her and give her a chance. After learning about the holocaust, they start to treat each other differently. Eventually that room becomes the only place where they feel safe, and able to open up and be themselves. They start achieving and believing that they can make a difference. A lot of other things happen, too. It’s a great movie, but an even more incredible true story. This teacher sacrifices nearly everything for them, including her marriage after her husband leaves her. In the movie it’s because he seems jealous that she’s living her calling, and he’s not, but that it’s not due to neglect. Was that the real reason? Who knows, but it’s something I may touch on in a later blog.

Freedom Writers is also a book, a compilation of the student’s journal entries in which they vent about the struggles of everyday life. It deals with race wars, violence, sex, family issues, survival, but also hope, and tolerance. It has actually been banned at many schools for its content. This is really an amazing series of events, and it makes me remember something important about education.

Everyone has potential.

Most of these kids were involved in gangs, even though they couldn’t admit it in class. Most of these kids had lost at least one, often more close friends or family members to violence. Many of them had witnessed, or were directly involved in violence, including violent crimes and other crime. It’s easy to understand that if this is what their lives are about, that they wouldn’t be interested in learning, or that they would have difficulty understanding how any of the subjects would be relevant to them. And because of that, it’s also easy to understand why many teachers would view them as “bad kids”. How do you reach kids that aren’t interested in learning, anyway, especially when you’re competing with other things going on in their lives that are of that magnitude?

I honestly don’t know. One day I’m sure I’ll have to figure it out.

But what this teacher proved is that they were not bad kids at all. To get them interested in English, they needed literature that wasn’t comprised of the masterworks, necessarily, but of stories that they could easily relate to. She gave them journals with the expectation that they had to write every day, but they could write about whatever they wanted to. It wasn’t graded for grammar, and she promised not to read the entries unless they wanted her to. But the point is that they were writing! They came to appreciate these journals, and writing, as an outlet for their daily struggles. She then used a field trip to a holocaust museum and later reading the Diary of Ann Frank to teach them lessons in tolerance, and where the road of intolerance eventually leads. And she later empowered them to make a difference, both as individuals and as a class.

These weren’t bad kids. And their apathy towards learning was only made worse by teachers who they knew didn’t believe in them, and ultimately didn’t care.

Fortunately I haven’t had to work with students like this, but I have worked with students that some might consider “slow” or “behind the curve”. And I’ve already learned that these students can surprise you.

It reminds me of something Benjamin Zander says, that when you take responsibility for how your students are acting, then when they’re not interested in what’s going on you get to ask yourself a question,

“Who am I being that their eyes are not shining?”

When I arrived at the first summer camp I was teching, the director warned me of a student. “He’s a Hispanic kid, tuba player, and from what I was told he likes to joke around and talk during rehearsal. He can be disruptive. He’s one of the problem students in the band.” Neither of us had dealt with him directly.

But it turns out that’s only who he was for the previous director.

This director's first language is Spanish. The fact that the two could converse in Spanish helped this student relate much easier. I was jealous and kicked myself for not paying more attention to my Spanish classes in high school. It makes me want to learn sometime in the future.

During the first day he actually was much better behaved and more motivated than the section leader! After all, he had a clean slate with us. He missed Tuesday morning for work. During a break he walked by the office and asked us a question, and we decided to chat with him. Turns out that his work involved waking up at 5 AM to go cut down logs with his dad and a couple of other guys and transport them to a factory. Hard work! I gave him props for that kind of hard work, and said, “You know, if you could bring that same kind of work ethic to the band, that would be a great example to set and a great way to lead.” He understood, and complied happily. And after more of the section leader screwing around, he asked us what was involved in challenging for that spot. He was a senior, and the section leader a freshman, so it then came out that the reason he wasn’t section leader is because he missed a marching contest due to something going on with his family at the time. But because he missed that performance he was disqualified from the office. The freshman was a slightly better player, granted, but didn't yet match this kid’s level of maturity and motivation.

(By the way, we quickly got the section leader to act according to our expectations, and did it without yelling or threatening, but that’s another story!)

If the previous director had shown compassion in this case, would the student have given him attitude problems in the Spring? I’m not bashing the previous director, by the way. While these students all shared a weakness in breaking down rhythms, they could also do a LOT of great things (like playing comfortably in more keys than most small school bands), and they showed up with a great attitude. But directors often are very harsh on students who miss performances... and typically with good reasons. The previous director surely was trying to impart a life lesson onto the student with this consequence, but in this case it seems to have backfired. Nobody is perfect.

We offered compassion for what happened, and lifted him up for his great work ethic and his leadership, even though he wasn’t an officer. All in addition to us previously giving him props for having a tough job and still being dedicated enough to show up to band after a hard day’s work, only to work hard with us the rest of the day. This motivated him even more to work harder for the band. What an incredible student!

So far this last week I’ve worked with two tubists at the current camp who might be considered by some as behind the curve. And in both cases they were timid, almost afraid that I was going to be ugly towards them for not having already known these basic, beginning band concepts. Things like note names, accidentals, key signatures, fingerings, etc. But I was compassionate, and explained that all I cared about was helping them to understand these things so that they could be on the same level as their band mates moving forward. Both of them were in high school, and ranked under a freshman tuba player who did understand it all. Turns out that was a good thing, too, because the freshman tubist discovered that band conflicted with agriculture, and decided he wanted to do that more. These guys don’t have him to lean on anymore (at least this year). I found them just in time! Where other teachers may have just frowned or even said ugly things about these kids for their lack of caring, or inability to learn, or whatever, I just saw possibilities. And trust me, they worked hard to get the concepts, but once they did, you saw the light bulbs go off, the smiles on their faces, the relief, the excitement. No, they weren’t incapable, they just needed a little more help. Even the student I helped who doubles as a member of the football team got excited once he understood how to read key signatures and figure out how to get from the Eb fingering to the E natural fingering. His previous teacher probably wasn’t one of those teachers who tries to rule through fear and intimidation (based on what I’ve heard), but you know you’ve met some of those teachers who, regardless of which school they subscribe to, think lesser of students who can’t play at the level they should be at by a given time.

Which reminds me there was another thought I was going to blog about in this post, but it really deserves it’s own post. The differences between the two schools of dealing with students. Compassion/Collaboration vs. the old school of Fear/Intimidation (made famous by William Rivelli and used by nearly every teacher I’ve had). I’ll discuss that more later.

But anyway, I just wanted to write about some of these recent experiences. I could write about more of these kinds of students. I meet them nearly every time I work with a group of students. The kids who you may think are here more for the social experience. The kids who don’t seem to care that much. The kids who just seem a little slow.

Chances are they’re not bad kids at all. Chances are they just need one of two things (or both). They might just need some one on one time to help them understand some fundamental concept they missed (even if they can’t afford lessons... it will be worth your time!). And if they don’t care, they probably just need a high quality music making experience. It doesn’t have to be a performance, or an end result. It can be what Peter Boonshaft calls a “pearl”. It’s one thing per rehearsal that you really work to perfect so that the kids can experience something truly amazing in band that day. A crescendo, perhaps, or a single chord played beautifully. When a kid is part of making something like that happen, when it happens, they feel it somewhere deep down. Remember that feeling? It’s that feeling you get when something sounds so amazing that you just get pumped, or otherwise filled with excitement. If a kid doesn’t care, it’s probably because they either haven’t had that experience, or they haven’t had it regularly, or have been too long without it.

If what I witnessed at the last camp is any indication, if you can deliver at least one pearl a day, even, they’ll be hooked. The first three days of that camp were not typically fun. We worked them really hard to get them caught up on their counting abilities, or at least to where they needed to be for their show music (which involved some of the most complex rhythms you’ll find in 4/4). But on Thursday they played beautifully on the “slow song” of their show, and every kid got excited. We knew they were hooked after that. But if there was any doubt, then when they created the wall of sound previously discussed on “Iron Man”, they were definitely hooked! From what I’ve heard, they’ve had something exciting like that happen nearly every day, even if it was just a really well done crescendo.

Some people think that guys like Ben Zander, Peter Boonshaft, or even Tim Lautzenheiser are just guys who run around making a living by making other people feel good about themselves, or by telling jokes that only we would get. Yes, I may be idealistic, and I’m sure that will be tested. I expect it to be tough (and luckily, I’m pretty tough myself). But actually, my youth and idealism has allowed me to, with relatively little fear, try out some of these things during the camp season. And guess what - I’m a believer.

Sometimes you have to be firm. I understand, and I agree. Hey, I’m a father, after all. But if a kid doesn’t know something, don’t blame the kid. Blame yourself or whoever was supposed to teach them. Don’t beat yourself up, and certainly don’t beat the kid up. Just try to get the kid to show up after school or during lunch for a bit so you can help them. Because they really just need your help.

Of course if you yell at a kid for being way behind, they’re going to feel bad about themselves. But most kids I’ve found aren’t motivated to act based on that. They just shut down and feel more worthless, and less motivated. I know that old school was used on most of us, and it can work when done properly. But what about when it doesn’t work? And what was the cost to the student, and/or to the trust/relationship you’ve established with that student? Try being compassionate instead.

By the way, this does not explain my thoughts about classroom management. Please don’t interpret that as such. I have other ideas about that, and am still developing some ideas on how I would handle it. So far I seem to be doing good things, but it will be more difficult once I am the teacher rather than a technician. Here I’m just referring to how you deal with students individually, whether it’s in front of the ensemble, or outside of class.

And help them to take part of a great music making experience. Part of why the kids at that last camp are hooked, and why their old director is now old news (even though they still love him), is because they have never sounded this good. This was a band that made it to the Area finals for the first time last year, but they’ve reached a new level in their music making ability. Of course they’re excited! Anytime a band does something well, the kids will be excited. Even if “well” just means “good compared to what they normally sound like”.

Anyway, I’ve rambled for quite long enough. If you have disagreements, or other thoughts, I’d love to discuss it! After all, the more I have to think about this stuff, and the more I can discuss it with other educators, or future educators before I’m actually employed next year, the better!

Thanks for reading, and until next time, take care!

Musically yours,
Mr. Cooper

PS. If you haven't watched Freedom Writers, and you're a teacher, please go rent it! Or at least learn about the true story and the current state of that movement by checking out the foundation's website: www.freedomwritersfoundation.org